difference matters.

i have to blog about this idea that popped into my head while in the shower a little while ago.

see, my friend cum exercise buddy asked me if i'm planning to stop going for Pilates classes at the gym. i told her i want to do one more term of pilates and think about it after the next three months worth of lessons is over.

then this realization popped into my brain while in the shower.

the difference is me knowing that at the ripe old age of 20, i have double her risk of a heart attack already. that by keeping this excess weight on my belly (i do have an apple-shaped figure ya know), i'm going to do no good to myself because it adds to insulin resistance. that basically, diabetes affects so much of my body, which is a really scary thought, come to think of it. the kidneys, the liver, the nervous system, the heart...

it struck me then, that the difference matters.

the difference matters because it is this difference that is motivating me to start taking much better care of my health.

it matters because sometimes i look at my friends who can pig out as much as they like on all sorts of carborific things which are pretty darn tasty and not have to drag themselves to the gym on a regular basis, and then feel a bit miserable. because so often it feels as though i am the only one who has to keep an eye on her health 24/7, who takes blood pressure readings once a week, who pricks her fingers a couple times a day, who just plucked up the courage to step onto the weighing scale every morning before breakfast.

this difference matters because it makes me want to fight harder, it makes me want to kick diabetes in the ass and let it know that i am going to win. this difference will make a huge difference in my life because i am one of 328, 000 diabetics in Singapore. and this one diabetic is going to make sure she is not the one getting her leg amputated, kidney dialysis, a heart attack, or going blind.

this difference matters because to me, it's fuel, it's power for my mind.