my family's getting new insurance and today my dad suddenly told me that they want me to see a doctor for a review, other than my own endo.
i burst into tears.
well, blame it on the monthly surge of female hormones, and exam stress, but really, i just don't want to be labelled as sick.
it really, really sucks.
because by looking at me you wouldn't be able to tell that my pancreas decided that it should malfunction for the rest of my life. because you wouldn't be able to tell that i'm at a higher risk for heart disease, diabetic retinopathy, neuropathy, kidney disease and high blood pressure. because, i behave like your average college student, and college students don't get type 2 diabetes, do they?
i hate it when things like this happen because it just serves to remind me of how 'abnormal' i can be because of my cranky pancreas. i don't want people to know about my diabetes a lot of the time because i don't want them to think of me as the sick girl living with a chronic illness. the twenty-something who isn't healthy like other twenty-somethings are.
yet diabetes is a burden i must carry till the day i die. and even though a lot of the times it's easy to push diabetes to the sidelines and just get on with life, life reminds you of this baggage we must carry around with us.
Monday, April 14, 2008
i don't want to be sick.
Posted by dae at 7:47 PM
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2 comments:
we are not abnormal, and we are not sick! we are just like anyone else, except we got a little something extra. and i'm not always sure about god, but someone i used to know told me that god never throws anything at you that you can't catch.
life isn't going to give you ANYTHING you can't handle, girl!
it'll be all right, just as soon as you say it can be.
I hate it when we get labeled, too. Don't let this get you down. Hang in there! :)
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